Poems by Sonia Paz Baron-Vine: January 2008

Monday, January 14, 2008

ANOTHER CHRISTMAS

Hanging the lights on the tree, my home smells like Christmas

the pine branches loaded with ornaments filled with memories

Seems like it was Christmas just a while ago but no, a year has passed and here I am decorating the manger..

Few figures are left after all these years perhaps the most important ones are left

the angel, the sacred family and a little lamb...

I turn off the lights and look at the lighted tree it shines,

it looks nice and I smile...

Another Christmas, presents, family and joy...

grandchildren to tell the story

of the wise men and the little star...

Goodbye Darling

You spent your last night next to me I nursed you trying to stop the pain

but your crying told me how much it hurt.....

Tati and I gave you meds we sang you lullabies

but only my petting stopped you from crying,

you lay on your little blue bed, you were so sick....

My little Darling, after seventeen years your time has come to say bye bye

I gave you a bath, the warm water seem to help a bit,

but I could see that you couldn't move anymore...

I cried as I dried you, so thin and frail...

my little darling finally in the morning you slept but by nine

you were crying again and I knew....

We drove you to the vet and she gave you a shot

you went quiet, as we caressed you Dima, Tati and I around you

all of us crying, and you so tiny so small..

with your little black eyes going dim and

at eleven you gave two little breaths and you were gone....

Little Luke

Little Luke, so cute with those brilliant eyes and that lovely smile...

Do you know little Luke that I feel I am your special grandma?

I feel your sweet mommy as my daughter and I am so proud of her..

Someday I will hug you and show you pictures of your mommy when she was a little girl....

Until then little Luke I am sending you hugs and kisses...

Grandma Pachi

Little Laust

Little boy Laust with brilliant eyes and a sweet smile.....

You have brought joy to so many in your home and around the world....

I am your faraway grandma and I hope someday to hold you in my arms...

Tell you stories about your sweet mom whom is my Danish daughter, and holding your little hand show you the wonders of my land.....

Laust, your name means free and I see a brilliant future waiting for you....

Little Laust sweet little innocent boy from accross the sea my good wishes sail

over the waves to you.....

GOING ALONE....

Along the beach wetting my feet in the cool sea, going alone....

Enjoying myself rested and calm ,no worries no deadlines, going alone....

Sunset

Listening to sax I drink a glass of wine and look at the sunset....

The clouds are red pink and orange and my wine changes color.....

A peaceful sunset, the sea is calm and the sound of the sax softly accompany the piano,

A perfect end of the day.....

A baby it's on the way

My daughter gave me a call, mom I think I am pregnant again!

I am so happy I am going to be a grandma a second time!!!

Would it be another little boy?

Would it be a litte girl?

No matter, I am so excited!!!"

A little walk in the woods...

I walk along the country road it is autumn and the rain washed the leaves clean....

The scent of the earth, of flowers, of rain fills my lungs I am happy...

The sound of my steps is all I hear, still not too cold yet

just a perfect day for a little walk in the woods...

Playing with Zak

I laugh as my grandson runs with his little feet,

fast trying to keep the kite from falling down....

He yells look, grandma Pachi look!

And his eyes shine full of joy.....

I yell back go Zack go!

And we laugh and run together as the kite flies....

Playing my guitar

Sitting on the rocks playing my guitar while the sun goes down....

My favorite time of the day, when the light is golden and you can look at the sun......

Moonlight

The night arrived and the moon came out to shine over the palm tree....

The cool sand under my feet as I walk along the beach.....

A soft breeze plays with my hair and I follow the lights of the club at the end of the beach... Music fills the air and happy friends wave welcoming me.....

Sunset in the tropics

Far away from home I sit on a pier looking at the sunset.....

The warmth of the evening envelops me stars are appearing in the sky.....

And the red sun slowly goes down to sleep at the end of the day....

Message in a bottle

I wrote a message and placed it in a bottle

I took it to the sea and send it floating away.....

Someone will see it someday and will let me know...

I wonder how far my message will travel accross the sea....

Tropical sea...

Resting against the palm tree looking at a tropical sea....

A pink shell on the white sand the clear sea bathing her....

I will paint a watercolor tomorrow morning....

I think I can....

I love the freedom of these lazy days, with my toes in the warm sand....

On vacation...

My friend called let's go on vacation she said...

And so we did, took a plane and landed in a sunny island....

Eating under a palapa dancing until late laughing like old times....

Here we go singing under the sun like two little girls my friend Katerina and I.....

Relaxing days....

By the lake on the little pier reading in the afternoon among nature, in peace

I have earned my rest, nobody to tell me what to do, where to go, when to be back,

it is great......

Finally free...

I am finally free, free to laugh, free to listen to my music,

free to smoke, free to drink, free to stay up late, free to invite friends,

free to cook anything I choose, free to change the tv channel, free to sleep late,

free to spend, free to call, and talk, talk, talk, free to go out with friends,

free to take care of me, and me, and me, and me...

Mean old man...

You are a mean old man, alone and petty, cranky and selfish...

And I tried to change you, I tried to show you, that I had good friends,

and that you could join us....

But you were mean and stepped on my ideas, my plans and crashed it all....

Looking at the sea...

One of those precious days of summer's end, when we realize how fast it went away....

Few days I really spent at the beach and here I am again looking at the sea,

this time looking like the grandma I am...

Years that I do not wear a bikini, even a hat I wear now ....

no matter.. my days in the sun are gone now

but what days they were!!!!.

Under the moonlight....

It is summer and the sea is calm ....

the moonlight creates a trail over the waves.....

Weaving with it's silver and blue shades guides my sight towards the horizon.....

Under the moonlight lovers walk on the sand holding hands....

All is peace....

Your voice in the wind...

I hear your voice in the wind, I know it is just my imagination but I do...

The wind blows all around me and the gray clouds are crying

like my heart they are sad and heavy...

You do not need me anymore and it hurts, oh, how it hurts...

Confusion and anguish in my life..

missing you daily, alone in the multitudes the noise surrounds me

and inside the silence of this pain...

Your sweet voice....

In the darkness of my room I hear your sweet voice on the telephone...

We are so far away yet so close.. I hear the sweet words coming from your heart..

I am longing to be in your arms to taste your lips and to feel your love..

Very soon we will be together and I will look into those blue eyes of yours..

and caress that blond hair I love so much...

Hurry lover I am wanting you come and whisper in my ear

and let me sleep in your arms....

Your Eyes

I like to gaze into your eyes, they have the color of the sea..

And I read them when you re happy, when you are sad and when they show love....

I kiss them and they smile at me tenderly...

Young lover...

Age does not matter..you said and I felt wanted ...

Much younger you were, and your youth brought me back in time

I held you close as you drove fast on your motorcycle...

my hair in the wind and you laughing...

I had forgotten how good it felt, to dance to be swirled to the music and to feel young again ...

And our lovemaking, your young skin next to mine, drenching me in passion possessing me

so intense.....

My sweet young lover, I look forward to being with you,

make me smile, make me love, bring your sweet caresses,

and take me..adore me

You surprise me

You surprise me every day when you call me,

and leave those sweet messages,

when you bring me roses from your garden,

the plans you make for us, the places you take me,

holding my hand and the smile your give me,

when you see me each time...

so tall, so strong so beautiful,

yet so tender and sweet to me....

You miss me

I got your message....

you ask when I will spend the night with you,

you miss me and I feel wanted and needed ...

I have missed you too and it makes me happy,

to know that you need me my sweet tender love....

tonight I will be in your arms

You came to me in a dream.....

I was a sleep and you came to me in a dream
you were sick I saw it, but still, you hugged me
I looked into your eyes they were green like the sea,
and your eye lashes were long, so close you were to me
and even though I did not know you I stayed by your side...
It was a strange place, you were coming from a trip carrying
all your clothes one on top of the other I looked at your white pants
they had blood in them ...
A young woman asked me to dance and without music I did,
suddenly you were gone and I searched for you...
There were people around and I took a baby out of a stroller
she was sitting in water... I was fixing her hat when this famous
movie star came to tell me you had died playing the guitar...
She said he died playing "carrera" he was doctor you know ..
Who were you?
Sweet stranger who held me, kissed me and looked into my eyes?

Copyright 2007 Sonia Paz Baron-Vine

Broken Heart

Why did it happen?

why did it even start?

I trusted in you, but you broke my heart..

Why didn't I suspect anything, how could I have been so blind ?

Maybe it was because you acted so kind..

The hurt I am feeling now is not easy to heal,

you said you loved me, but that is not what I feel....

No more wishing for the past, it was not meant to be,

it didn't seem to last....

So I have to forget about you and me....

You are near

I passed by the airport today and I saw your plane there,

it means you are in town, you are near but you do not need me and it hurts,

no phone calls, no messages nothing to tell me you miss me and

I have to fight this urge to contact you and tell you how much I miss you....

As I drive by the beach I know you are near, sailing around the bay with a new companion...

Like we used to do in happy times, my heart feels heavy, and I drive by in a daze..

Memories come flushing and I wonder where did we go wrong and I wish

I could fix things so we could be happy again....

With you

In your arms gazing into your green eyes warm and safe, while you caress my face...

I want to be here for ever like this, with the peace you give me, the tenderness you bring me... my head on the pillow, fascinated with your features, those lips I adore, your sweet voice..

my love, the intimacy of this moment is magical...

I let you in my body face to face..

kissing you and I know this is true love...

Never leave, always be like this. I will stay with you forever..

Winter memories

I remember vast valleys, rolling hills covered with snow shimmering in the sunlight

winding roads taking me uphill with icicles sparkling everywhere

old pine trees covered with snow and the silence of the dawn

Small pink tulips..appearing here and there like sign that the Spring was near,

slowly melting the ice...

The crystal falling delicately in my hands, magic perfect snowflakes fathers winter's gift to me walking slowly on the snow in the quiet of the forest, sliding downhill with the sunset, peaceful and gentle winter memories of snowballs and angel wings...

White roses...

There you stood, so tall and handsome, smiling at me, holding white roses

you took them from your garden specially for me, so sweet and tender

I smelled their fragance and smiled at you, grateful and touched by your thoughfulness

you surprised me, each time we see

I am getting to know you and I like what I see

Sweet and caring, giving of yourself slowly and carefully

I will wait, I have no hurry I am fascinated by you

and I feel our future will be as sweet as these white roses.

Where did it go....?

You came into my world and held me.. I kissed you...

But deep within your heart you live in solitude...

I never saw you cry I wonder if you are strong did you ever feel pain?

Now when I remember the words you never said, those eyes of sea that gaze at me in silence where did it go that tenderness, those smiles your caresses?

You never knew I did loved you and I would have made you happy

Where are you?

Forty years have passed...

Were you applauding in some concert? were you among the multitude?

have we crossed in some airport? were you next to me in an elevator?

did your eyes gazed at my face in the magazine covers?

did you listened to my voice on the radio? did you dream with me one winter night?

did you see me dance at a party? did we waited together at the bank?

did you watch me swim at the beach? where are you my love?

I am getting old, and I need you so much, I am so alone I want to gaze into your eyes

see your smile, hear your voice saying you love me,that I will never be sad again,

that you will kiss my tears that you will let me die in your arms...

Rejection

Silence all around me, time to think and ponder, reality is brutally clear now that you are not here..

Memories do not alleviate, the cruel and blunt present, your silence tells more than words,

no need for explanations...

Rejection hurts deep inside and confusion brings despair, my mind tells me to forget,

but my heart keeps on lingering..

I see you everywhere, I hear your voice and turn around, but each time I'm remainded

that is just a mirage I create to compensate, to cope when you are not here..

Waves in the twilight...

Side by side we stood in the silence on the pier, looking at the waves as they passed under us.. Looking at them break, listening to their magical sound, we smiled at each other...

Watching the sunset on a warm calm dusk...

You and I, good friends and lovers sharing the magic..

Sitting with our feet hanging over the sea, looking at the sailboats no words needed ..

The twilight arrived, the hills profiled against the first stars, the light house shone and we held hands ..

I showed you the surf under the moonlight and we witness the city come alive with lights...

Amazon

Going south to the green land of the amazon, a canoe takes me deep into the jungle...

Green leaves reach down to the water, the afternoon sun filters through the canopy and the sound of the colorful birds reaches me in their singing glory...

Shining wet turtles along the shore sleeping reptiles and dark insects, their eyes follow my canoe as I glide silently under the trees...

Wild orchids sway in the breeze, moist with the spray of a waterfall, that like a veil gently falls against the shinning rocks, making them glow under the sun like gems...

I walk barefoot and the moss feels cool and moist between my toes...

A blue and yellow butterfly lands on my shoulder as I kneel in this moist and sacred land....

Waiting for love...

Since I kissed for the first time I have been in love with love

and here I am again. wishing for love to come into my heart.

I live for love, I miss it's warmth the happiness I feel when his loving arms embrace me

All my life I have searched for the love of my life, for that special one, yet to be found Somewhere in this world he is waiting for me, for my kiss and my passion...

I feel it, oh my love, come to me soon I need you so much, hold me at night and let me sleep

in your warm embrace...

And kiss me, kiss me like I have dreamed for so long ...

I am calling you, love this thorn in my heart aches, come and take it away.

Unfounded fears

Wrapped in your arms I used to gaze into your eyes...
I felt safe in our love, and I adored you...
You caressed me like no other and I loved to feel your hands playing with my hair...
Holding my face and kissing me so softly like only you could do...
But all my dreams died yesterday I broke them, with unfounded fears...
I cried feeling so sorry remembering our love...
all night you were on my mind and today, I dropped my pride and reached for you...
And there you were, waiting for me... with love and tenderness and all is forgotten,
we are one as we should, once again lovers and friends...

Copyright ©2007 Sonia Paz Baron-Vine

Under the pier

We walked on the sand holding hands I followed you under the stars...

the surf shined under the moonlight and we stood side by side in silence...

once in a while you touched me and I rested my head on your shoulder...

I followed you next to the sea and we walked along the shore....

Under the pier we stood, you behind me, so tall and strong and yet so tender...

resting my head in your chest surrendering to your embrace...

A magical moment watching the waves, both of us in the night under the pier...

Under the starry night

(For Michael)

Sitting here in the warm water, being held in your strong arms ...

I feel safe and happy my love...

You kiss my neck and we laugh alone just the two of us under the starry night...

I love your voice and what you say, those loving words..

just for me and I know you love me like I do. ...

A shooting star passes by and we both see it we make a wish...

and hope that it will come true.

That you and I will always be like this.

This distance

I look at the hills that separate us, and I wonder if you think of me....

all day your image has been on my mind, the raindrops hit hard the crystals of my window pane, you are not here anymore, and you will not return..

This distance is tearing me slowly to pieces, I cry these hot tears and I miss you so much..

It is hard to fight this impossible, there is nothing I can do, your love for me has died

and I cannot revive it...

I wish I could run and hide in your arms once more..

Perfect kiss

Under the full moon I came, from under the warm waters to see your loving eyes waiting for me...

I stood there in silence smiling at you, naked under the moonlight...

Magical moment, no words needed, only our eyes locked and both of us smiling...

You moved slowly towards me, both of us in the water, our bodies almost touching...

steam floated from my skin and I closed my eyes..

You held my face in your hands and gently so gently, gave me the perfect kiss....

The little ones

If we could hear them, if we could see our world through their eyes ...

In every corner of this planet the little ones know...

They cry silent tears as they see the violence, the famine the drugs, the greed, the pollution... They wonder why we have gone so wrong, changing our planet into a greedy chaos, into turmoil

If we could open our hearts, put aside our differences and reach out to each other without fear...we could again live in a gentle world, sharing and building a kinder tomorrow for the little ones...

So they can play in peace, their laughter breaking the walls we have built, the walls that keep us apart....

The harbor lights

(To Valparaiso)

The harbor lights shining in the distance as I glide my sailboat in the dark ...

the wind rings my copper bell and the sound of the seagulls tells me I am home again....

Last night in the nocturnal fog I anticipated this sight...

And now like million stars the street light above the harbor, zig zag up the hill like the trail of a drunken wizard...

I am entering my harbor, and the reflections on the water give me many trails to follow...

but I know the one to take..

The one that brings me home to you...

The fading dream

Your silence speaks more than words...

I have not heard from you in days, I understand that you do not need me...

and that I need to go on alone...

I hurt inside and I feel sad....

the many moments we shared, the smiles and the kisses, those happy loving days..

now all those things are gone and I am here all alone, wondering what went wrong...

The rain outside falls and my heart aches for you...

I will have to be strong as I see my dream fade away...

I will miss your smile...

Teaser

So, you play with my mind and tempt me with your love

only to pull back and dissapear..

How cruel, these games and I fall for them each time, thinking you have changed

But no, you are the same, a coward in love matters, afraid of commitment and sincerity

Much easier for you to flirt and tease, than to love and trust

And here again I wonder will the next time be for real..?

Sweet smile

The first time I saw you... you gave me a sweet smile and even though we did not say,

I felt you were telling me, you wanted me...

Each time we saw since then, I felt the same unspoken message in your smile..

you wanted me...

Last night we spoke, and again your sweet smile said to me what your lips did not..

Your hands touched me softly, I wanted to hold you, but I kept still...

I am anticipating the moment when you and I decide it is time...

when our lips will tell the words we want to say..

I know that when we give our love without words ,all I will need is your sweet smile..

Standing in the rain

Outside, looking at the pines under the rain that gently falls, thinking of you...

in the mist a lonely hummingbird flies around me curiously..

I stand alone under the gray clouds that move towards your hometown..

distant thunder reaches me and I see the glow of lightning over the hills that separate us..

The wind caresses my hair and the raindrops mix with my tears...

are you in the rain that kisses my lips and the wind that embraces me?

How I miss you..love.

Solitude

I have searched for so long, that when a little of it I have found, I have cherished every moment.. and died a little when it was gone...
Solitude finds me, my old friend always near, to talk to you is easy, to cry with you innate..
here once more, looking into the distance, feeling this emptiness, this yearning...
I have reached the golden years and I still have not found those eyes I have been seeking
and thought once I found..
Solitude, my old friend I am sure you know him, bring him to me, guide his gaze, carry him in your tender arms and let me fall into his...

Copyright ©2007 Sonia Paz Baron-Vine